Breast Cancer, My History

I consider myself to have been single most of my life.  After about 10 years of my friends trying to convince me to date on line, I met the man of my dreams almost one year ago today on eHarmony.  It was father's day on our first encounter which lasted over 7 hours (and included our first kiss).

Unfortunately, for him, this amazing man is now having to help me through a very traumatizing time - but if this is what I have to do to get to my "happily ever after", sign me up!

I have an area on my left breast that has had a lump for at least 15 years which has never raised any alarms in the past, but Ricardo, my guy, was concerned about it.  After some debate, he actually said to me, "If you love me, you will have it checked".  We laughed, and we laughed, and we laughed, at his technique but secretly, I wanted to be able to pull that card on him in the future if I needed it, so I booked an appointment to see my general pratitioner (who is fantastic by the way).

So, we arranged to have my breasts squashed between two little plates - may I say, ladies, I do not know what the big fuss is all about.  DO IT.  I also had an ultrasound during which the technician did warn me that since I was admitted through the "Rapid Breast Clinic", they would probably want to put a needle in it.  Oh great.  Ricardo was in big trouble now.   (if anyone wants to know more about the Breast Clinic, let me know)

To make a long story short.  They found cancer and that is really all I know at the moment.

The hardest part for me in the last week or so was figuring out how to tell my friends and family.  In the end, it was my saving grace.  I congratulate myself for choosing such amazing people over the years to share my life with.  The response of support and love I've received has been almost overwhelming.  I now feel strong enough to fight anything that comes my way.

I have a consulting appointment with a surgeon today to see how much of my breast she wants to take.  I'm hoping that it won't be much because I have to say of all my body parts, I really love my breasts, and I wasn't planning to discard them for fake ones.  But, maybe I'll get a free tatoo out of the deal (my first).

I asked Ricardo not that long ago, what the hell he saw in me, which of course new lovers do, and he said, "I wouldn't want anyone other than you by my side in a bar fight (which I have to say is extremely unlikely but never say never) and I know that you would pick me up off the ground, dust me off and get me on my way no matter what ever happened to me"  And, you know what, he's right.  It looks like, unbeknownst to either of us, this is what he is going to have to do for me. 

I owe you big time, my big love.
till next time